Return to The Faith

Today was really life changing for me.

This summer I have been struggling with depression. No matter what I did I never felt like I did enough to get enough. I knew that blessings come to those who serve diligently and I was impatient with myself, desiring the blessings of a faithful servant.

But my morning scripture study helped me stop thinking this way. One of the scriptures that I fell upon was D&C 62:7. It ways, "I, the Lord, am willing, if any among you desire to ride upon horses, or upon mules,or in chariots, he shall receive this blessing, if he receive it from the hand of the Lord, with a thankful heart in all things." (Emphasis added)

This lead me to thinking differently. Keenan, I thought, you aren't seeing the good things around you. You are comparing, and have been thinking that what you have isn't enough. You have lost a thankful heart.


And so I looked up Gratitude in the For The Strength of Youth Pamphlet. What it read was good, but it didn't really hit home. And so I looked in the Christlike Attributes section of Preach My Gospel. It wasn't there, but I found something else instead. I found and read the part on Humility. It's kind of long, so I won't quote it, but it was the answer to my prayer. I had learned that yes, being this, and being that are good and great things, but this summer, Keenan, you've put your life more into your hands instead of the Lord's hands to try to become this way you want to be. Why have you lost your trust in Him?? Why have fear when you can have faith in the Lord that He will strengthen you? Faith is the opposite of fear, and it is faith that you must regain to wipe away your fear. Remember earlier this year, how cheerful you felt almost all of the time? That was when you were much more reliant on the Lord than you are now. You need to get back to being that way. And you WILL.


I was really glad that I had finally found the core of my sadness: my own pride. My lack of humility was my cause of depression. But now that I've figured it out, I don't feel so terrible anymore. I am comforted in Christ. :) I think I slipped away this summer due to slothfulness, negative influence, and lack of seminary. I need to develop a bit of backbone!

I'm so glad my fast was effective today. This is going to be a great week.

I've also started studying the 7 Effective Habits of Highly Effective People again. I had forgotten a lot of it, and I'm really really excited to become more useful to God and my fellow men!