Defeating the Weakness

I have finally found the core of my problems: Procrastination!

I not only know what my problem is, but I'm learning how to TARGET IT. With a LAZAR!

If I don't defeat these behavioral problems; I will never escape from them. They will always be there unless I create a sense of urgency on the things that matter most.

Still learning about this... I just felt like posting about it because I'm really excited about it.

Update on winter Break

Sorry for not posting in awhile; I promise to do this more often.

This Christmas was a great one! We had a good time at grandma's house. Anthony has gotten a lefty guitar, so hopefully he'll start learning the skill as well! I got a 2011 refill for my dad's old Franklin Planner, and I've been looking through it's pages and have been attempting to make sense of it all. I'm SO excited for this next year; I think I'll be able to accomplish a lot of things if I just remember my purpose and my duty to God. Must NOT GET DISTRACTED!

There are so many things to do, so many commitments I've made. I really was feeling in despair today because of everything on my plate; I felt like I wouldn't be able to follow through with everything. I came to realize that I won't be able to do this alone. I must be a person who is able to invite the Spirit into my life and keep Him in my life or else none of this will work out. I know that if I trust in God, I can do anything. But I must FIND that trust, and strengthen my convictions. And keep myself reminded...

Today Gretel decided to do a little letter exchance with me. Naomi and Faidra sent letters from my room to her in the living room, and it was pretty fun! I think I will do it often; I feel like note writing is a fantastic way to express yourself and share what you really think. Plus, it's easier for many to communicate and analyze this way than face-to-face. Gretel is such a sweetheart; I want to get to know her better!

I'm excited for New Years! My grandparents have allowed me to come with them to California to spend the good ol' time with the Lipmans, the Cullens, and "all of our crazy Italian relatives". I'm so excited to see Aunt Heather's family again: Uncle Reg, Autumn, Spring, Ben, Ephraim. I am eternally greatful for them and the amazing example they are to me. The summer before last summer I got to spend a month at their house while rehearsing for Bugsy Malone (a corny, musical 1920's gangster comedy). It was a play that Aunt Heather was pulling of herself; she was pioneering the Children's Community Theater in Windsor, CA. She is a superb leader; I can't wait to come back and participate in the fun again while learning from such a hero. It will be great to see her again at New Years.

Ha this night before Christmas reminded me of a Christmas memory from last year...

Okay, so every year on Christmas Eve, our parents all cram the children into one room to sleep in. They do this so that when we all wake up, we come into the living room from the same angle so mom can get all of our reactions on tape. Last year, as we waited up, too tired to sleep, Sabrina decided to have some fun. It was her room we were all sleeping in, you see, and on the desk was some nail polish. She asked me,

"Hey Keenan, let me paint your big toenail red!"

"Well, it's just one toe, and it's Christmas! Why not?" was my reasoning. And so my toe was painted red that Christmas eve.

Many days later, I went off to the dojo to do some martial arts training with all of my friends, mentors, and role models there. As I took off my socks, I realized that I had not gotten rid of the red nail polish on my toe from Christmas Eve! It was a humiliating experience, but I did go and train just like any other day, as other karatekas (karate students) snickered behind my back. Even a couple of the black belts pointed out the terrible shame found on my left foot. It was the kind of experience you didn't find very pleasant as it was happening, but found hilarious looking back. I learned my lesson the hard way, but you don't have to! The moral of the story, dear children, is to not let your sister paint your toenails if you want to be a MAN. No, not even one.

For Narnia!!

Whoo! I just got back from watching Voyage of the Dawn Treader with my family! It is my most favorite book in the Chronicles of Narnia and is now my most favorite movie! "I laughed, I cried... It moved me, Bob."

Oh, it is those kind of movies that I like to see! I could say a lot of stuff about it, but I won't. Just go and see it yourself!

I AM Christ

This song is amazing.

First days of winter break

Phew, it's time to sleep again. 

Yesterday, after going to church, I went home, took a nap, and then went to a wonderful fireside full of music. It was good to see all of the young people that had gone off to college or wherever at the fireside. 

After the fireside I got to go over to "the house" to sleepover with all of my cousins. As an unexpected plus, I got to go to a Sunday School game night for another ward with the Jarvis brothers and Jessica. The idea of having a Sunday School game night was a concept I have never been exposed to before; it was genius! So we went to Bro. Chamber's house, played Apples to Apples Bible Edition, played songs on guitar, and ate cookies. Oh man, that reminds me. The Christmas diet is, like, the most unhealthy diet ever! It's like Buddy the Elf, only instead of being so hyper and productive you feel tired and gross. Well, that's how it's been for me the last few days. I'll get over this sickness soon though; I think cutting back on all of the cookies might quicken the process...

Anyways, the redwood 14-16 Sunday School class is a pretty interesting class. For starters, it includes the ultimate joker Anthony Jarvis. Secondly, it includes two hyper young ladies named Brittany and Morgan. It was the typical random girl duo, and it made me think of two of my dear friends, Cassidy and Allie, spending time with them. Though I've never been to his class before, I can tell that Bro. Chambers is a pretty darn good Sunday School teacher.

The next morning I was awoken by my cousins at 5:30 in the morning to go work out! Though it felt terrible to  do it at the time, it felt great after we got back. Oh, but I was shot all morning; the Jarvis workout routine is brutal! My legs still feel limp and spaghetti-like. It was those lunges...

Today was the big cooking and shopping day for the Jarvis family. Lots of cookies... everywhere... A lot of dollar-store toys too. 

Something really hit me today. When we met my uncle Jeff at a gas station to get money, he told us about an accident that happened this weekend. Some of the young men on the local football team were involved in a car crash. Nobody was killed, but one had to be taken to Portland because of some terrible internal issues that resulted. Another young man had all of the ligaments and muscle tissue ripped up in one of his legs; Jeff said the boy was most likely done with football for the rest of his life. Jefferson and Anthony continued to talk more about Josh, which I think was the young man's name. A foster child who had been raised by parents who didn't live together, football was the focus of his life. As they continued to talk about this guy's situation, it really just hit me. It became more of a reality to me. There are so many people whose situations are so low, so terrible. Not everyone has opportunity to learn, or loving parents to guide you along the way. Not everyone is blessed with the knowledge of the gospel in their lives. Not everyone is given opportunities to education. Now that I have internalized this, I feel so sick to have had any speck of self-pity in me. It made me cry, just silently mourn, for a long time in that car. I feel so ashamed. There are so many people's lives to bless; there's no time to be thinking so selfishly!

Well, later today we got to play with the younger boys outside. Cousin Josh, Henry, and Cousin Alex all combined their Nerf gun collections together and had enough stuff to do a 3-on-3 war. Calvin, Anthony, and I were privileged to participate in the fun. At first I was not expecting it too be that much fun, considering my past knowledge of the toys being weak, cheap, and easily broken. The experience I had today changed my opinion of the toy; we had a great time! 

I slept through tonight's family night, I'll admit it. I ate a delicious spaghetti dinner, slept, and woke up to the last 10 minutes of grandma's lesson. It was about the calm of the storm and how the Savior can calm us if we just let Him and trust in Him. I love grandma.

Back home now; it is time to go to bed. There's a lot to do tomorrow! 

Christmas Break Begins!

Ah, today I've got a cold, and have been feeling tired. But hey; it's breaktime! Time to just calm down... relax... oh yeah, then there's the Latin I still need to catch up on. Op, and all of that Scout-work... and that mound of borrowed books to read... nevermind! Well, I'll still have fun; there are so many good things to keep me occupied! Phew, right now I really want to go to bed, but I'm going to finish up this post.

Tonight I let go on my gmail-facebook fast and had a long chat-time with a lot of my good friends. Diego Guerra is one of my best buds ever, and he lives down in Windsor where my cousin Autumn lives. We're like brothers! He keeps me updated with what's going on down there. I'm so excited to see them all again this summer! Tomorrow Jessica and her family is going to come to GP, yay! It's wonderful to have so many cousins around.

I got to talk to a couple of my friends about the Restoration and the Plan of Salvation tonight! I talked to Tommi and Megan. Tommi seemed quite interested; she loves the Bible. She seems like the kind of person who would really soak up the restored gospel. I'm excited to teach her more! Megan wasn't quite as interested, but it was good to talk to her again all the same. :)

Tomorrow I plan on getting some good sleep and getting started on the list of stuff I've got to do. After it all we've got the ward Christmas party to look forward to!

Goodnight world.

Another Day in the life

I've been on a facebook/gmail fast this week. Well, originally my goal was to do nothing but schoolwork on the computer. But I couldn't get through the week without blogging; it just doesn't feel right not keeping a record like this.

This whole week has been really really good. I've received many tender mercies from the Lord, some even coming from complete strangers. Helpful advice at the gym from some random guy named David, finding MORE missing stuff, comfort from my mother, helpful ideas for the Eagle Project from g-pa... the list goes on and on.

Yesterday Mikaela, one of my friends from choir, got to come to mutual for a combined activity! We went caroling, and had a good time! Gee, I think that's the only time a friend I had invited actually showed up to something, yay! More to come.

Seminary has been fantastic this week. Bro. Beckstead is such an amazing man. Today we learned more about families and how they should be run, and he sure did a good job at teaching it through the Spirit, as well as with a good dose of humor.

Granpa Seable picked me up around midday to do some errands and get some more Eagle Project stuff done. We got to go to Staples, which is now my most favorite store! I guess I never really saw its glory before, but boy! All the cool stuff is at Staples. "That was easy!"
Grandpa taught me a speed-reading technique which has really helped me today in my reading. You hold your index finger with your thumb and scan the page with your other open fingers. It guides your eyes and keeps them on the page, so if you move your hand fast, you can read fast! It was cool, and I'm going to try to get better at it. Once I get good at it, he said he'll teach me the technique used to scan whole pages...
I've been realizing one of my biggest weaknesses throughout the week: mental lethargy. I need to speed up my brain some more! Get it moving faster, so I can take initiative, get work done, remember social ques and rules, and get schoolwork done faster! My mind tends to wander, but not anymore! I'm going to focus on focusing harder. The time is NOW.

Saturni

Today I woke up and practiced The First Noel over at the stake center with Sabrina, Truli, and Fa. It was a lot of fun. Fa recorded a "before" and "after" of our practicing on her phone, and the contrast was hilarious! The first time we decided to sing it, I was singing the tenor part and decided to do the final Noel (that goes to high F#) in chest voice, which for some reason I couldn't get right. The sound was a screamo-operatic tone! To make it even worse, Sis. Wright thought it would be good if we did a short retard on that part just to draw it out. Listening to it now in contrast to how we did it today was utterly hilarious. I think we'll be able to sing it okay how we're doing it now.

After helping Bro. Tripp some more with packing, I went over to grandpa's house to discuss my Eagle Scout Project. It's mainly going to be a landscaping project which upgrades the shabby front of the Merlin Alternative Center. We're also going to make a school sign for it so people know what the old district building is actually used for. I'm excited to get it done!

Tonight we held our annual Polar Express night. The tradition includes wearing your pajamas, drinking hot chocolate, making gingerbread cookies, and watching The Polar Express! I never get tired of that movie; this year it was even better than before. I feel like I can understand the symbolism in the movie better now, and the message behind it is very special to me. Amazing parallels to my own life are springing up all over the place! We got to invite Aunt Kirsten's family, Grandma and Grandpa Seable, and Gwin, one of Gretel's friends.

Now I'm watching It's A Wonderful Life; SWEETNESS!

Friday!

Well, got almost no schoolwork done today. Oh dash it all; I've got all winter break! No need to freak out about a few overdues. All the same *scolding stare at myself*, don't let yourself get lazy.

Today I was priveleged to go and help Bro. Tripp pack up a few things at his house. His family has already left to Idaho, and I am really really going to miss them. They were one of those unique, overachieving, inspiring families. It was a great blessing that they were in my life for the few years that they were here. Brother Tripp is a doctor, and told me a little bit about his work. It was FASCINATING. I mean, think about it. How would it feel to think, "Ha, hey look, I just saved somebody's life." You know? I think that would be a wonderful feeling. It'd be risky, and it'd take some discipline, but I bet I could be a doctor if that's what the Lord has in mind. I can become whatever He wants me to become. There are so many choices; I simply must take some divine guidance when looking at all of these fantastic professions that I've looked into. It's a tough decision.

I was there all morning, and I didn't plan a schedule for today. So I just stayed home, did some work, got through some Math, babysat, and honestly squandered time. :( Need some character development there; must make a plan and stick to it! Life is so much easier when it's in order.

Dan Fogelberg - Leader of the band "with lyrics"

Dan Fogelburg is my most favorite guitarist and poet. Here's one of my most favorite songs by him. It's the kind of song I would like to learn for Fathers Day.

The Morning Breaks, the shadows flee!

Hallelujah!

This morning started out fantastically. Excercise + conference reruns = YEAH BABY!

I feel hope today, because my Spirit has been nourished with the strength of the Lord. This is a perfect example showing why we should "seek the Lord early". A good day starts with a good morning.

I have elaborated on my scheduling techniques today. Due to the fail of yesterday's plans, I have decided to define my purposes in life first, and then derive goals for the day from them. For example, today I wrote: Roles: Brother/Son, Friend, Student, Child of God, Scout, Pianist, Guitarist, and Actor (hopefully I'll get some info from my friend about the autitions for Almost Maine today...).

I kept these goals in mind as I put together today's outline, making sure that I keep a good balance of everything that I'm working on, and that I do not overephasize any of the babylonial roles (everything except for Child of God).

I feel so excited for today!

Scripture of the day: 2 Nephi 33:6.

Listed blessings for 12-7-10

Okay, here's how it went today:

I wanted to try this crazy idea of doing schoolwork at the STAKE CENTER after seminary via my laptop. I had used wifi before there, and I thought I would be able to use it again. It didn't work out, but the assumed failure turned out to be a blessing in disguise! As I was walking around the stake center to try to find service, I found my red binder that has been lost since Halloween! Now I've got a lot of my music back now; yay! There's #1. I also got info about the geneology stuff from some of the people that were there doing that work too... I'm going to have to find some of my family's information before I can do much on the site...

2#: The YMCA had wifi that worked! And, just to be the cherry on top, I got to go to my first Latin II Livelesson! Ceana and I thought it was funny that her "prophecy" of me getting one in by the end of the semester actually came to pass; it was the last Latin LL of the semester!

3#: I got to see and wave at Amanda (from karate) at GP Middle school as I ran home from the Stake Center!

4#: I feel happy about the results of today's Science work.

5#: I got emails from Ceana today.

6#: I got (almost) everything school-wise done I had planned on doing.

7#: I have such an awesome learning environment.

8#: I have been born in the gospel and have been raised and cared for by loving parents.

9#: My Savior gives me hope. A way to return, everytime I foolishly fall.

10#: I have lots of fun things to practice and look forward to this winter break.

11#: I've eaten YUMMY food all day long.

12#: Tomorrow is near; another opportunity to "work harder"!

Bring it on!

A great Start

Yesterday mother proposed a new plan for the average weekday: Get up at 4:30, go to YMCA and work out there till 6:30, go to seminary at 7, and start your day at 8:30. That takes care of the most important things in my day FIRST so I don't have to try to squeeze in working out (and getting my driver out of the house) at a later time of day. It is a wonderful physical and spiritual boost for the day!

Today was a very ideal day, I must say. I got everything in that I had planned on doing. I'm trying a new, rather simple day-plan strategy. I make a simple outline of the day's tasks in chronological order and DO IT. Today I got divine help in finding things, keeping negative thoughts out of my head, and sticking to my plans. I am nothing, and I will always be nothing. My God has all power, everything good that any man does is because of His ultimate Genius and Mercy. He is the one that inspires great leaders, scientists, philosophers, prophets, and normal people, whether they acknowledge his help or not. I'm going to make it a lifetime goal to ALWAYS acknowledge his hand in all things.

I have exciting plans in mind for this week and beyond! Fa really wants to have a LOTR movie night with a bunch of our friends, we are going to do that caroling thing, I'll have the opportunity to sing in church this coming week, I'm going to invite Cassidy, Allie and Mikaela to come to church (1. For invitation Sunday, 2. To come and see Sabrina and me sing). Scouting is going well, and I'm having a blast working on the Medicine and Engineering Merit Badges! The Eagle Scout project is still coming together as well.

I know that not all days are going to be as good as today, but I know that if I just keep trusting in the Lord, everything should turn out right in the long run. Ug, SO HAPPY!!

I Believe in You - Il Divo and Celine Dion

Here is one of my most favotie songs. That one tenor is INSANE! Well, all of the Il Divo guys are unbelievable! Celine Dion has a wonderfully strong female voice! The lyrics are beautiful and inspiring too. :)

:D

Haha, it's so wonderful how the gospel can take anyone out of the lamest frames of mind!

Scripture of the day is 2 Nephi 2:2. Our afflictions (EVERYTHING that causes us pain or grief) is dedicated to a sacred purpose. There is a reason for everything! It is to draw us closer to Christ. Even self-inflicted trouble (lol, like what's been happening to me all week long) is here to refine us and to teach us! Thankfully, with the Lord's help, I've found my way out (again) of the hole I've dug for myself.

I also realize that a study of the scriptures can be more helpful than anything else. After studying this week, I realized that my despair came from one thing: Fear. I knew I needed to study fear to identify my own and conquer them. Confront them. Not to escape from them, not to try to kill them, but to accept them and act according to what God expects me to do. While looking this up I found the verse that was the basis for verse 3 in the song How Firm A Foundation; it was awesome! It's Isaiah 41:10.

Later, while studying for the Personal Management Merit Badge online, I came upon this online book written by some psycology professor. It was awesome because it was a totally free online self help book! I read it briefly in the chapter concerning Procrastination, and sure enough, the core of the type of mental disorder I have is fear. And I didn't even need a proffessor to tell me that! The scriptures are there, and can be used to solve ANY probem. All the same, it is helpful to read what these learned men are finding, as long as what they write is correct according to the gospel. http://www.psychologicalselfhelp.org/Chapter4/chap4_76.html
Seriously, go look at this site and learn about the different types of procrastinators. It's fascinating!

:) Well, tonight is the Community Creche festival that our Stake sets up every year. Grandpa will be the sculptor on site again. I'm excited to see who's performing the live music. My little brother said that I missed out on an awesome a cappella version of Carol of The Bells last year; I'm excited to see what's cooked up for this year's music. I invited my friend from choir to come along, but she won't be able to make it. Hm, ah well. I wonder if she could make it to the ward Christmas party...

I've had thoughts of having a big caroling team made up out of youth from the stake for this Christmas season. I hope I'll be able to get that coordinated; I'm still not certain if we'll be able to do it.

Ha, schoolwork has gone downhill all week. But that's okay; we've got all Christmas break, the weekend, and TODAY to catch up. Combating procrastination here... "Okay Keenan, just 5 more minutes... *works for another hour*"

Haha, nice try Satan! Can't take me down that easily.

ENOUGH!

I've had it. I'm not allowing myself to act so glum. "Keenan, you will be HAPPY! Whether you like it or not!"

Let me talk about the last few days, just to unload.

I am not going back to choir. Ever. Well, it sounds like a happy ending, right? Sad thing is, guilt comes with the package; I have abandoned the friends I have made there at choir.

Last night my youth group did a temple trip, which I didn't go on. My sister and I got there at the stake center early, and so I decided to study a bit in the foyer where a comfortable couch was. I love the scriptures. Them + a good study guide = something that can keep me occupied for a very long time. And so it did. They left without me knowing. When I decided to go look at the room where they all would meet, I found it empty. I had missed out on the opportunity of serving at the temple.

For the last few days I have been in total despair. I know that there's hope; I just need to find it.

I will find it.